Success: What does it mean? Who am i meant to be?

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Last week I attended my first session with a Psychologist.
Last night I watch the biographical epic Bohemian Rhapsody. 

Now, these two events may not seem to have much in common, but both of them have in their own way helped me work through some doubt and uncertainty that has been rolling around in my head for a few months.

(I’ll do my best to articulate these thoughts, it’s still very much a work in progress)

In my session with the psych, one of the topics that came up multiple times was Success. More so my relationship with it, and how much I struggle with the word. 
I squirm when someone says that I’m successful. So diving into what that word actually means, and what it really looks like for me to be successful is a tough task. 

Well over the past week I’ve been struggling with that task. Fighting to put together a genuine answer, an answer I can be at peace with, an answer that allows me to be a little kinder to myself, whilst also looking for more to achieve.

After last night, and the incredible biopic about Freddie Mercury and Queen, I think I’m moving closer to being able to articulate an answer I can accept. 
But first, a little bit of backstory. I’m 26, so I well and truly missed the Queen juggernaut. Fortunately for me, Dad had a couple of Queen CDs on rotation in his car for the best part of my childhood. This has led to a love for their music which takes me straight back to the front seat of his car, belting out the lyrics to ‘Can’t stop me now’, ‘Killer Queen’ and of course ‘We are the Champions’ These songs remind me what it’s like to feel 10 years old again. 

Freddie Mercury lived in a time where being who and what you are wasn’t the easiest thing to do. His struggles to fit into societal norms of the time are well documented. However. When he was on stage, or recording an album, he was every single part of who he was. 

For me, that’s success.
Being you. Unapologetically, unequivocally, indubitably you. 
Finding that thing that you were born to do & doing it with such passion, drive, commitment and love that it sets your soul on fire. 

If that just so happens to transcend you as an individual and change the world like Queen’s music did, well that’s a nice little bonus that comes with it. 

This passage from American Psychologist Abraham Maslow sums it up pretty well. 

A musician must make music, 
an artist must paint, a poet must write, 
if he is to be ultimately at peace with yourself.
What a man can be, he must be.
This need we call self-actualisation…
It refers to man’s desire for self-fulfilment,
namely to the tendency for him to become actually
in what he is potentially:
to become everything one is capable of becoming. 

Am I successful? 
Well, I’m doing something I love, I can feel my soul smouldering as I do it, that thing that sets my soul on fire, I’m still searching for it, but I feel that it’s not far away. 

This week Virtus turns 3. I’m pretty damn proud of that too.

Have a bloody ace long weekend… make sure you see the movie.

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