I feel as though I’m pretty well qualified to talk about this topic.
Why?
Because sometimes I’m happy annnnnnnd sometimes I’m not.
That’s kind of the point.
This pursuit of happiness thing we are all chasing, I believe it’s inherently flawed.
This pursuit can sometimes stop us feeling the emotions that we need to feel. I think that it is incredibly important to ‘feel your feelings’. *Click for Scrubs Reference
If you’re sad, be sad. If you’re angry, be angry. It’s semantics, but I don’t see happiness as an emotion. I see happiness as a state of mind, almost a level above emotions. I can be frustrated at work, but still feel an underlying sense of happiness.
This state of mind boils down to two things.
- Awareness
- Expectations
Awareness:
Around who you are, what you want, what you need, and what you enjoy doing.
Awareness that growth is never pleasant at the time, and even though things might be hard, you’re simultaneously aware that you’re moving towards something better, something magical.
Expectations:
Managing your expectations is not lowering your standards. It’s understanding what is acceptable to expect of yourself, and others.
As you grow, make more money, expectations grow, which is why the new car that you were so excited about buying, has suddenly become ‘normal’ a few months in.
A good starting point, expect much more of yourself than you expect of others.
Simply put, when our reality matches our expectations, we are happy.
At the end of the day, things are either good, bad, or indifferent. It doesn’t really matter which one, what matters is what you do, what action (or inaction) you take, and that you let yourself feel how you need to feel.
When I’m happy, life’s good, when I’m not happy, well it’s still good.
It’s been said before, and it’ll be said again, Miley Cyrus once mentioned it, Life isn’t about just being happy, it’s about the climb. Cue tunes….
Buddhism teaches that the pursuit of pleasant sensations is, in fact, the root of suffering. Even when we experience them, we react with a craving for more.
The trick is learning to enjoy the struggle, take pleasure the hard stuff, embrace putting in the work and at the end of the day, learning to dance in the rain.
If that doesn’t work, write down the 30 things you love to do, and do them.
Manage your resources, understand your wants and needs, and don’t quit.
I know I find joy in giving, the more I do that, the happier I tend to be.
